So, today explains. I know I can't live with the fact, but what gives? It's fate. When sometimes I don't believe in fate cause I don't like the idea of me being in control of my life, on the other hand, sometimes fate proved to me that things going on around were true. Especially karma. It happens all the time, understand? Every moment you do, it'll definitely, freakishly shoot back at you. Karma. You can't escape. Not a second.

The main point. To someone, I'm terribly sorry but I've made my decision, and there's no turning back. I'm simply not the perfect person for you. You confidently say that I'm into no care and concern for you. But you never even knew how much I prayed for you, how much I prayed for the both of us to get back together. That is MY way of talking to god, praying. It may seem nothing to you, but love is in his hand to distribute. And instead, god showed me something. It wasn't something I expected, it wasn't something I prayed for. But he showed me. I finally realise that I should stay away. I used to be compelled to keep myself with you, but right now, it's totally something else. And have you forgotten what I did while you left home that moment, and I took my trouble looking for you? Have any of your EX-BOYFRIENDS bother to waste their time for such thing? I don't wanna say, you ask yourself.

I accept the fact that you think I'm changing. Yes, every human being changes under every circumstances. But what I told you, it was a lie. I didn't ignored you because of my prelims. Wait, as a matter of fact, I DIDN'T ignored you. But I stayed away and LEFT! Is that what Juraizat did to you? You were afraid that I might turn out to be like him, is that so? I seriously am so sorry. But after all that happened, I'm beginning to get CURIOUS about why did he change. Have you ever thought of that?

I didn't left you because of my prelims, but because of you. I can't afford to lose my patience any longer. Like I've always said, "Love yourself to love me". You simply just can't get that into your head. You wished that long ago, you were dead; you feel like jumping down from the 12th floor; you don't even care what will happen to you. They just add more wax into my ears, understand? You were talking to Rid on phone while we're still in school, Rid handed it to me but I just don't feel like talking. But when he forced to, yeah, I took it. I'm sorry to lie, saying that I was okay. You know I'm not, don't you? Good. You should still keep asking yourself why.

Anyways, your issues, making you throw your tantrums on me - I've forgive you WITHOUT your apology. But ask yourself, to what extent do you understand the term "Apology"? Is it admit, realise and apologise your mistakes and NEVER do it again? Or is it just to make others forget about it, settle the problem and you're free to do the same thing over and over? I learnt this mistake while I was still with Ariani. That's why I kept myself silent when you called her bitch. Now everything shoots back at you. You understand the whole thing now?

Now I'm making this final. To what I felt, I think we were closer while being in the mother-son relationship. We never argue. Please, look at ourselves now. We're in a mess. And if I never had my patience to keep forgiving you, this mess wouldn't have been tidy up for a long time. I'm sorry, Sweetheart. But I guess I'm going. Since you assume that I didn't care about you, and since you can't seem to take simple words of advices. We ain't in any relationships yet, and nothing seems to work. Okay, I know part of this was my fault for always making the wrong move. But so you know, I've always did trouble to get myself to you. So, without saying much, I'm stopping all these. I'm really sorry to disappoint you, and your family. But I'm doing this for a purpose, for a reason. When they ask, you tell them why.

That's all.