Whee! This blog is kindda secure from spammers and stuffs. So, by the time you've started reading this post, it already means that you're allowed in. Permissions are quite awesome isn't it? Hmm, those I've allowed in, don't worry, I won't be hurting you guys in my posts. They're as clean as a holy book. Chey!

Hmm, Maths Paper 2 was quite a blow up, cause I wasn't in a good condition. I felt nauseous and my tummy's aching me! I suffered those craps for a good half-hour during the exam. How awful was that? Hmm, I just prayed to god to guide me along the way. I simply can't focus, understand? Moreover, it's a major exam I'm sitting for. Allah is always needed when I sat for it. Well, after reciting some prayers, I felt kindda better, but a bit unfocused still. There's alot of question I left blank, to my horror. Hmm, I was just afraid that I'd get worser than a D7, which is unacceptable for Hi-nitec in ITE. It's totally now I expected. What a bummer.

Anyways, I wish this works. I'm getting low-profile now. To all my friends I trusted and let out my secrets to, especially the Unreciprocated Love, you guys are more than just what I needed. I've never threw my tantrums or vulgars to those who hated me, and those who loved me. Patience is the key. That way, I hoped god would smile upon me and all of those I'm with. Unreciprocated Love, you guys are the best!

Hmm, getting low-profile. That's as good as starting a brand new life. Well, I don't have to mention about Muna hating me to the core, you guys know that. Well, I'd just put this to and end, since she doesn't. Why continue to dislike and hate? That'll just haunt our own lives down, right? Would it be better to just forget the source of the problem and move on? Frankly speaking, I've got much bigger things than just me and her. So, I'd just set her and myself free from this. I'm wrong and she's wrong in some ways. I'm right and she's right in some ways. I forget about her and she forget about me. That's quite fair I suppose. So, from now, I won't even bother if she still were to hate me for the rest of her life. Well, this is it I guess. It's like a new relationship being broken up. But I'm just doing what's right. And I still treasure those moments I spent with her. Quite sweet.

That's all.

Hell yeah! The past few days was totally awesome! Went for raya with lots of new people, and lotsa houses! Whee! Okay, frankly speaking, I wore the same outfit on both days. Ahaha! At least I washed them and sprayed with perfume, okay? Hmm, surprisingly, most of my cash were gone, and I'm left with only a few cents in my wallet?! What the hell?! Oh well, I'll get money soon when I start working, or would I?

Okay, O-Level's up tommorow. And I'm having THREE bloody papers! Hooblaah! I'm prepared with lotsa glucose to keep myself awak ein those papers. Like, GAWD! How could we possibly be able to get our minds into those papers from morning (0800 hrs) up to about 1630 hrs?! It's totally insane isn't it? Hearing most of my new friends from other schools having just TWO papers tommorow, oh yeah, I just felt like drowning myself in the toilet bowl? Haha! So yeah, all of you got my point right? The examination is getting insane! So does the world, I suppose.

So, what's next? Hmm, I've gotta say I'm having a great life right now. On the other side of my mind, I simply don't understand why that person kept on yacking awful stuffs about me? I mean, don't you have a life to take care of? Well, says you, you wanna let others happy and let you get the misery. You call that care and concern? I call that critical bullshit! Why? Don't ask me, look at yourself. Through reflections, through the mirror. Ask yourself everything you've never asked before. What have you become? You're like this before I'm around, and you're like this even after I'm gone. You're just gonna be this plain piece of *Pfft!* for the rest of your life? Come on, MOVE ON! You said that I want you to die faster? You've just cracked a joke babeh! You're just nuts, you know that? You're too polluted already. So please, it's you who wanted to kill yourself!
You smoke, you slit, what else? Should I say? Oh no I shouldn't. I'm not god. But whatever you do, don't even WASTE YOUR TIME on putting my name in, because you're the one who's doing everything by yourself. I'm living my own life, and nothing involves you, understand? Sheesh!

They called you bitch, slut, whatever. But did I? I just called you "Belo". Is that so OFFENSIVE? It is? Gawd, you're so sensitive. I called you that for a reason you know? You're just too BELO to even think before doing. And you're not immune, you're just too BELO to even feel. Trust me, those are the fact.

So let's get this straight. Why do you hate me? Because you're hurt that I left you? Why did I left you? You think I left you for fun? You think I did this on purpose? Oh, kalau sengaja memang kurang ajar lah kans? But you don't even know the real reason why you were left, right? Pfft. Dasar BELO. There's no use telling you the reason already, cause you'll just be too BELO to even understand. Like always, lain yang orang cakap, lain yang dier faham. Sorry to say, but I think you need more Vitamin D, get what I mean? Expose yourself to the world? Cause you know nothing and purposely made up things. That's just plain stupid. Oh wait, whatever you do wrong, you're always in the wrong, did I said that? Sorry, you're still in dreamland I guess. So WAKE UP!

Well, enough said. Oops! Did I just wasted some of my PRECIOUS time on you?! Aww shits! Oh well, I think I'm better off for studying. THREE papers tommorow! *Doh!

That's all.

Whee! C. Science O-Levels Practical Exam was a blast!

I reached school at around 0900 hrs, thinking that I'll be late for the shift. Gawd! Rushed to school abit, and met 5A1 there. Okay, my class wasn't there yet. That's odd. So, went to the toilet, blah blah blah, and the 5A1 went into the AVA room. Still, my class wasn't there yet. So I looked onto the O-Levels notice board and guess what? I'm in Shift 3! Bleargh! Oh well, sat on a bench and did my revising. Ying Qi and Li Jie were there, and there I went. Few moments later, Alfian joined in too. A group we formed.

Fast-forward.

The practical was a blast! Again! Whee! Physics was just a snap, except that I can't think of ways to inprove the experiment, as what the question asked. Chemistry was abit tricky. I found out that the cation was Zinc, but what was the anion? Carbonate or chloride? Well, who knows? Some of the students even cried struggling in the lab. Figures. Don't worry, you'll be fine babehs!

So, me, Alfian, Mannan and Ariff went for jamming session while waiting for Rid. It was fine. Songs played : The Kill, My Heroine, Sweet Child Of Mine, Unholy Confessions, Chapter 4, The Kill, Warmness On The Soul and The Kill. Gosh, kept playing The Kill. It's their favourite in the session. Awesome!

So, yeah. Went home and started Battlefield 2 with Rushmann. Hehs!

Hmm, speaking of Battlefield 2, someone kinda "yacked" in her blog about another someone being late of watching a Battlefield 2 video in youtube, and called him "Slow"?! Like so what? Why was that even a HUGE deal for someone to watch video? My gawd! That's just so "not grown-up"? I mean, why would someone call the other "slow" for just watching a video late? This just don't make any sense. It' just fate, what can you do about it? Hmm, don't get me started on music to backfire you on that. Nah, no time. I'd rather be bothering on something else rather than you anyways. Haha! I'm not insane, come on. It's fact. Like most said, "Come on, shift off the boring part! Look on others and you'll have fun!" Hell yeah baby!

Next, Rid kinda having problems with a close friend of his. Well, I'd rather not join in, or his "close friend" would YACK-YACK my tagboard again. Bleargh! Anyways, my advice to you. You don't have to bother about the things you can't do anything with. Let 'em be. You've got your own life that's facing problems. "Yourself" always come in first, alright? Cheers from the band!

Okays, I'm bored right now. Going out to have Thosai with my family! Hoo-Haa!

That's all.

Sweet! My blog's back up! Hmm, I got fed up with the codes being messed up. I clicked the "Save Changes" button instead of the "Preview" button. So, that's why. Well, I can't find any blogskins that caught my eye. So I just used the current template. I'm lucky enough that I saved it in my folder, or else.

Well, the tagboard's not back up yet. I've gotta wait for the website to finish up its maintenance as I could get the codes then. So, it won't be long yeah?

I've been playing Battlefield 2 again. Awesome stuff! Enough said.

That's all.

First of all I ain't gonna mention anything more about this friendship thinging. I know my rights, I wont get myself in these kinda stuffs. I should say this is a childish kinda thing, am I right to say so? I learnt my stuffs, so let's depend on time and fate to let others learn their stuffs, shall we? After this, I declare this case "closed".

Let's begin.

So, I kinda enjoyed my day today in school. Laughters here and there. I feel great! Never been better. So all these while I've put sorrows and anger and hatred for just one silly issue, I then realised, it's really not worth it at all. We've got better this to worry about, better things to bother and better things to be mindful of, right? Today I got along well with my classmates. Goodness, I've never felt myself for quite sometime. Chis kedondong!!

Well, got home and played Kakak Zilah's PSP, playing 300! Hell yeah! Completed that game twice, and playing it all over just to earn more Kleos (Greeks currency). Meanwhile, I chatted with Muna about some issues, then we went nuts! She tried to mess around with me, I messed with her more! She asked for peace, then hell I'll give her! Nyahaha! Okay, that's too much isn't it? Well, what can I say? You never get too proud till you're defeated. She can't even handle my nonsensical craps, right sweetie? Come on, tag my board and debate more! I'll bring you down like a cockroach that's lost its feelers! Nyahaha! (Whatever that means?)

Okay, I'm done. O-levels are on its way near, and I'm still playing Maple?!

That's all.

Whee! All of you are invited to take a look on my tagboard, words and more words coming up. Is there even a reason? Oh well. They must be expecting an answer. So here it goes!

Hmm, for Rid, I didn't say my problems with Muna have anything to do with you. What happen was, she got too committed in covering your back against me, somehow against me about that Alfian thinging? Well, I explained some stuffs. She suddenly said that I should think about your feelings AS LIKE think about her feelings to give her time to change. Well, she wondered about what I'm up to alot, and mati-mati nak tau. Great! So I told her off. She wanted to know it so much, there I went. My fault? Think about it.

So next. Hmm, you felt unwelcome and humiliated. By the way, did I laugh when Alfian said to you to gentel your buah? Well, I didn't. And I said something like, "Siak jer kau!" and stuffs like that? You really think I'm that pervertic to laugh about this kind? I joke around WITH limits, buddy. It's your fault for not paying close attention to the surroundings, especially me, understand? By the way, I cared about how Alfian humiliated you. But do you even care about how YOU humiliated us? Remember Sec 3? About what you said to Aidillah and others? I don't know what you said to them, but what left a bunch of dirt on my face was - Aidillah did text me once about US not paying attention and not layan-ing you. Do they even know that it was because we hated your attitude of speaking that bad mouth of yours all around? Remember? Oh sure you do. Because we SOUNDED you for that, right? So, my fault? Think about it.

Next, didn't I say I'm NOT jealous seeing you with Muna? Muna understood what I mean, why can't you? Sorry dude. looks like you're the one misunderstanding this part. Look, unlike you, I am totally not the person who assume things. That'll leave me more at fault. That's why I kept having second thoughts to keep myself safe. Once again, unlike you. Get this straight, there's no jealousy here, understand? So, my fault? Think about it.

Next, yes. I less often ask about your well-being. I'm sorry, but I kept having problems myself. Now you know it? Or you ALREADY know? (Didn't Muna even told you about the lines on my palm? GO ASK HER!) But the thing is, the reason why I'm not letting you know is that you are not the kind of person to tell my problems with. Sorry dude, this is honest speaking. You're the kind who kept memberontak. Like I said in my previous post, "Why bother handling my problems when you can't even handle yourself?" I appreciate your attention. But pay MORE attention to yourself. Kau lupa diri, that's the problem. By the way, I'm not giving you advices? Let me ask you this. Have you lost your brain cells? Your forgot things eh? When you fought with Ain, who adviced? When you found out that Mas smoked, who did you called? When you fought with Rufisha, who spoke to her? I'm sorry to say this, but as Muna said (I think), you remembered your own good deeds, but not others. Wait, you're not the only person whom I NOT tell my problems to ya know? In fact, I NEVER tell my problems to anyone. so why get offended? Didn't I told you this before? Or you simply don't understand? So uhh, my fault? Think about it.

So yeah, you aren't able to understand my emotions because you don't understand yourself. If you don't even understand what I'm saying, gawd, all I can say is, read this post again and again. I can't do anything about it. So, my fault? Think about it.

Finally. Honestly speaking, I don't even know whether should I take a turn back or not. You know what kinda person I'm looking for - Nice, sweet, good-looking, a good heart, cheerful, patient, loving, friendly, smart, and respecting elders. The person who has them all, is perfect to me. I don't mind having a person with one of those missing qualities, as long she has a good heart and knows how to make things right. One more thing, which I'm very particular of - "Vengeance" is never in my dictionary. You can ask one of my ex. We had a HUGE conflict when she's planning to seek revenge against her own bestie. So, my fault? Think about it.

So how do you want me to end this? In order to make you god-damned satisfied, you want me to tell the other band members about what you feel? That was what you suspected me of isn't it? You said, "Ntah2 kau bilang dier, makin teruk nanti." Something like that? How should I say? Hmm, things like, "Eh, Rid tak puas hati ngan kau uh. Aper Muna bilang aku, Rid masih simpan dendam pat kau pasal kau malukan dia ngan Heedayah. Aku ingat outing gi Orchard that time leh settle sumer, aku tau kau nak berubah, but Rid ni buat hal." How's that? That'll just turn me into batu api, right? But was that what you really wanted? Why keep them all inside when you can just blow it out? Am I right? What are you waiting for? Tell 'em off if you dare. Still distrust Alfian on washing his hands? Why don't you ask Muna what I told her about Alfian. She understood. Let's make yourself satisfied, shall we?

Should I say more? Oh wait, I've said too much. And wait, I'm never gonna let out my feelings anymore. Why? Look at what's happened to Muna. I dare not say a word, but I SHOULD say, "I shouldn't have told you that."

That's all.

Sometimes I wonder if I SHOULD say a thing or two in this blog. I could hardly trust anyone getting their hands on my problems. I knew this was always gonna happen. Why even wonder about what I'm suffering when you can't even get a hold of yourself? Why bother handling my problems when you can't even handle yourself? You never knew if I were to suffer more than you. You've got more people to love, on your side, on your back. You even have family members to talk about your problems, to even show them your tears - that's if you wanted to. As for me, I have no-one and nothing to let my feelings off. Oh, this blog? It's just like a mere newspaper that tells you what I'm going through, yet not all of them. What can it do?

First, Rid got pissed about him being the last to know about the Prom Night. All because of himself hating Alfian, and I'm the one to be blame for that he suspect me of probably telling Alfian everything about Rid. Well, what do ya know?

Second, Muna got too committed to make me realise that Rid's feelings should be kept attended. Oh yeah, for years we've done that sweetie, he never even wanna see. So, what happen was, blah blah blah blah, and she want me to think about what she feel and think about giving her time to change. Am I giving you time? Or am I giving you too much time? Well, what explains, everything made me blew out to you about my plans to propose to you on your birthday, since you wanted to know it SO MUCH! Great, I swore to never be in a relationship with you if that plan failed. Instead, it broke out weeks before the day itself! Painful isn't it? Haish. I just wish I could give you my life once again, but I'm sorry. It's happening. Fine, what I did hurt you more than other guys hurt you. So please, I'd rather have you away from me. I'm just like a contaminated perfume making you sick, understand?

From what I can see, you don't need to have me by your side all the time, right? You have him to talk to on the phone till late night, you need him to be with you everytime I invite you to my house, you need him FIRST everytime you wanna let out your feelings, you tell him FIRST about what your going through, and HE was the only person whom you tell your secrets with. Oh I'm not hurt with that. He is like a brother of your own, I can see that. Yes, I can see, that you both are pretty much closer than that. Nah, I'm not suspecting anything. Like I said, you don't need me to be with you when you have him around. That's the fact. Probably that's the reason I'm attempting to leave you both from the very start. I should have, but love brought me back in. Now I realise, I'm just another extra party. Don't get me wrong. I'm never jealous about this. But oh, I'm sorry to bug you guys.

I've got lots more, maybe five or six. But I'm too lazy to write those down, or even telling anyone. I suspect more issues are gonna come by next dawn. Well, I'm ready, sincerely.

That's all.